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Who cares if flowers are one of the most cliche photo subjects?

Missing me again.

Thinking is man’s only basic virtue, from which all the others proceed. And his basic vice, the source of all his evils, is that nameless act which all of you practice, but struggle never to admit: the act of blanking out, the willful suspension of one’s consciousness, the refusal to think—not blindness, but the refusal to see; not ignorance, but the refusal to know. It is the act of unfocusing your mind and inducing an inner fog to escape the responsibility of judgment—on the unstated premise that a thing will not exist if only you refuse to identify it, that A will not be A so long as you do not pronounce the verdict “It is.” Non-thinking is an act of annihilation, a wish to negate existence, an attempt to wipe out reality. But existence exists; reality is not to be wiped out, it will merely wipe out the wiper. By refusing to say “It is,” you are refusing to say “I am.” By suspending your judgment, you are negating your person. When a man declares: “Who am I to know?” he is declaring: “Who am I to live?” –Ayn Rand (from Galt’s Speech, The New Intellectual)

Guilty. I know I think. I know I use my brain *sometimes*. But am I turning it on just long enough for basic necessities and then shutting it back off?

“My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement.” Patricia, Joe Versus the Volcano

I spent some time looking at what my blog was like 8 years ago to the month. I loved blogging back then. I wrote about the most trivial things– whatever was on my mind. Posted a random photo if there wasn’t one to go with the subject of the post. Posted pics of food gratuitously. And I suppose what helped keep it going was the small but devoted community of people– family and friends– who read and commented and conversed. Most of them blogged, too. You spoke your mind and there were people who actually gave a damn, no matter how trivial.

Tangent to the original subject, but I don’t think I’ve ever placed enough value on friendship, come to think of it. Friends who helped keep me awake, helped keep my brain on, and perhaps even my heart beating.

I look at today and why don’t I write the mundane amusing experiences and details of life anymore? What has changed? Has everything been documented? Is life that repetitive that there’s nothing left to write? Nah… as mundane as life can be, as repetitive as it can be, the beauty is in the details. The brief moments. The conversations. The laughter. The heartache. And everything in between.

Could be that my “falling asleep” coincides with becoming more and more withdrawn from life in general. Or maybe they’re the same thing.

For life cannot always be made of grand experiences and massive break-throughs. But then, in a way, those aren’t terribly interesting anyways, are they?

And so I task myself with turning my brain back on. With waking up. With seeing beauty in the details. With striving to live in that state of constant, total amazement. With putting off intellectual laziness of all kinds. Not 100% sure how this is done… but life will be better if I do. Taking time is going to mean blogging. For me, anyways. Takes more work than a quick post to instagram or a status update on Facebook. Let’s make this something I can enjoy reflecting on in 8 years.

Speaking of change… I need to actually spend some time and make my own wordpress theme. I’m not feeling this particular theme right now other than the built in picture frames.

It blows my mind that this image was created (almost) entirely on my phone– the only exception being that I made this particular crop on my laptop. I took the photo with the phone and processed it with an app on the phone. Said processing was done while the same phone sent and received text messages and streamed music wirelessly to a pair of speakers across the room. Technology is seriously insane. This is the first time I’ve imported a photo from my phone to my computer to take a closer look at it… and I’m just amazed. Never would have thought to crop in this closely if I hadn’t been monkeying around in iPhoto with the zoom tool.

Anyways, this is only a tangent to the topic I wanted to write about.

A few weeks back an iPad app started making some waves online. It’s called “Paper by 53″ (it’d just be called Paper but there were some other apps released prior to it also with the name paper, I think). The idea behind paper was to let me people draw and sketch naturally. The interface is elegant and simple– it gets out of your way so you can simply create.

Well it was a quote from one of the creators of this app, Georg Petschnigg, that got me thinking and connecting some dots. I was reading a review of the app, and he was quoted thusly:

“People are at their best when they’re creating.”

Bam. The truth of this statement resonated instantly, and struck me as being terribly profound.

Some people think that “creatives” are artists and musicians, or at the least, “right-brained”. But everyone creates– whether or not it takes the form of “the arts”. I really believe it’s our nature as humans to create– to produce, if you will. To take what’s around us and make from those materials something greater than what the original parts were by themselves. Ideas, raw materials, organizing the talents of others– whatever it may be.

Initially I thought, “Yes, I’m at my best when I’m creating. That is when I feel the most alive, the most energized, the most satisfied.” But then I thought of the world we live in. The following scenario passed quickly through my mind: a company goes out of business. Everyone there “loses their jobs.” Are there just that many fewer jobs in the world now? That much less to do? No. We are creators. We are builders. We are organizers. We are growers and cultivators. We are producers.

Some will wallow in unproductively– they are obviously not at their best. Perhaps they have been deceived and believe happiness and satisfaction come from somewhere besides creating.

Not too many days later, someone posted a John Stossel report from a little over a year ago about “freeloaders”. Though this person only posted the clip having to do with those who pose as pan handlers to make an easy living, I found the rest of the program and this same thought about creating came back to me as I watched John make a real world comparison between those who are entitled and primarily consume, and those who strive to create and build:

I watched this and realized it was a perfect illustration. Now, certainly this is a piece produced by the mainstream media to illustrate a certain point of view– but it rings true to me in general. The group that is spoon fed is worse off for being so, and the group that expects no one else to support them actually really prospers and has a much better life.

I don’t really have anything profound to conclude this rambling with– just the observation that a major factor in the health of our nation depends just how many people buy into the lie of happiness by consuming, vs the truth happiness by creating. The pie is infinite, it can only get bigger. There is no finite amount of prosperity to go around– only people who would stand in our way of freely creating and producing for their own selfish purposes.

If you didn’t see or watch this video I posted on Facebook a couple days ago, take a minute and watch it. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched creativity and passion work at such a young age. This kid is a builder, a creator, a producer. He has an awesome life ahead of him.

Caine’s Arcade from Nirvan Mullick on Vimeo.

So amidst taking stills, I recorded a brief clip or 2 of the dancing, since stills don’t do dancing justice. Hope you’ll forgive the shakiness– I’m a complete novice at video and don’t have software to smooth that out just yet.

Can you just tell how much she’s enjoying dancing here? She’s totally into it and totally having fun.

I love this girl. She was so adorable up there dancing. Though I think my favorite was the end of the whole program where they brought all the different groups out to bow. Addie’s group was the first out, so they had to stand there after their turn for several minutes while all the other groups took their turn entering the stage and bowing. Pretty soon, Addie got bored of just standing there and started doing her own little groove to the music while most all the other girls just stood there, haha.

Thanks for the ornament, Seesa! Speaking of which… pretty sure I need to watch the Phineas & Ferb Christmas Vacation episode.

Mmm, I love this time of year. I’m a sucker for the magic that Christmas lights create. This is the tree at the office… out of focus, obviously.

Here it is, November 11, and I’m editing photos from the trip to the beach in August. I’ve enjoyed the cold weather so far this year, and I’m looking forward to the holidays… but dang. Looking at these pictures makes me miss the beach and warm weather.

Hehe, this guy didn’t love the beach. Not enough familiar mayhem down there, I suppose. Not like getting into his cousins’ tent while they’re away, hehe.

Yes, I’m back dating this post. I wandered around after work for a few minutes on the evening of October 19. I actually left the office early enough that there was still some light, and it was early enough that there were still some vibrant fall colors to be seen. Sadly, I haven’t made it into the canyons to see the colors– this is about the extent of my fall photowalking this year. Better than nothing, I guess!

And the sunset captured when I got home.

I’ve kinda been jonesin’ for an iPhone 4S partially because it’s supposed to have such a great camera on it (for a phone camera). But I keep talking myself out of one. Today I talked myself out of one by realizing just how sweet a camera I already have with me most everywhere if I’d just take the time to get it out.

I took it out today and realized the last picture I’d taken was nearly a month ago: the picture you see above of a delicious chocolate concrete with oreo from Nielsen’s Frozen Custard. Mmmm….

And just like many times before, I find myself wanting to set a goal to take photos every other day, to stretch myself to find interesting details to shoot. Here we go again

Walking around with the intent to take photos of the world around you helps you to have a sense of wonder about life. Helps you to “open your eyes”, so to speak. You don’t have to have an amazing camera or even be good at taking pictures. I look back at when I started this blog and honestly, a lot of my pictures were terrible and might seen horribly mundane. But they were just bits and pieces of LIFE.

I’m reminded of the words of Sam Spratt, an illustrator I’m a fan of. In responding to the question of whether drugs have ever influenced his work, he said that no, they hadn’t, and never would. His objection is to escapism:

Maybe not everyone works this way, but the moment I step outside my house, I am surrounded by “awesome”. Every face that passes has a story, every passing interaction has a context, the mingling of race, gender, sexuality, and religion are all beautiful to me, the New York cab drivers yelling “f*** you!” at me are fantastic, the smoking hot woman who works as the local Psychic in her shop window is still way too good-looking to be doing something so absurd for a living, my local Muslim barber waves at me as I’m the only white person who gets haircuts with him, a group of homeless people that hangout by the subway stop are all laughing together as they beg for money… The point is… I look at the world and I feel like I need to scrape every inch of it, absorb it, and know it. It’s just too interesting to need to withdraw from.

I’ve felt like this from time to time– and I’d like to see the world this way more. So here’s to taking more pictures and keeping that eye out for the beauty around you.

When Steve Jobs resigned in August of 2011, many nearly eulogized him. It started to sink in just how profound his influence and vision were.

Stepping down as CEO meant his health condition was more serious than we might have guessed. There was a sense that the end was near for him, though we didn’t know how near. I was inclined to be optimistic about his battle with whatever was ailing him. He wasn’t dead. He would be on the Apple board. He could still be participate in the goings on in his own masterpiece of a company, Apple. The thoughts and things I read and watched then are still fresh in my mind, and given so much more weight today as I, with many others, mourn the loss of Steve Jobs. I can’t believe he’s gone.
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via Jonas Peterson

The following is a great example to me. This is Milton’s Glaser’s response to 9/11. He is the original designer of the famous and often copied “I ♥ New York” logo.

“After the terrorist attacks of September 11th, the trauma and madness of the event stirred up all the fears about anihilation and uncertainty of my earliest childhood. For six or seven weeks I could think of nothing else and spent my time trying not to feel powerless and impotent.

“I wanted to use my skill and training as a designer to affect the situation. I was not alone in this regard. Many designers in and out of New York, feeling they had a public responsibility, produced images and words to help us deal with this unprecedented event. I felt proud to be part of a profession where serving the needs of the public was considered appropriate and necessary.”

I initially wrote a post about my experience 10 years ago. But, having been only involved emotionally and over long distance, I figure that story is less interesting and better suited for my journal.

My perspective 10 years later– that’s more interesting to me. Because America has been through a lot since then, and I’ve learned and grown a lot since then as well.

Two days ago I began reflecting on the events of 9/11 and how they unfolded (I had downloaded a 9/11 Memorial app earlier in the month and was just getting around to browsing it). Like most everyone, I’ve seen the aerial footage of the planes hitting and the towers collapsing. It still brings back one of the most vivid days in my memory.

But later that day I was looking for information about the collapse of the towers. I had not recalled that they had collapsed so quickly after being struck by the planes– perhaps because that day seemed to go in slow motion. I came across a video shot from the ground level not many blocks from the tower. This footage was so much more poignant than what I’d seen repeated over and over 10 years ago.

People on the ground were already bewildered, upset and in shock, but when that building came tumbling down, it was pandemonium. The reaction of the people, the sheer horror and terror, was palpable. The screams of those people turning and fleeing still haunt me. Instantly, lack of realism in every movie I’ve seen about disaster or destruction became obvious. It felt like the world was ending, and tears welled up in my eyes for what people directly affected by this disaster went through. My heart aches for them, and I’m filled with gratitude for those who willingly sacrificed their own lives to save others.

Perhaps it’s because this is the first time I’ve meditated on 9/11 to any extent since 2002, but the reality of it really hit home. And now, 10 years later, I can see the good and bad that’s come from it.

While as a people we were initially united by the tragedy and drawn towards God, those in power saw an opportunity and sought to use fear, anger and hate to drastically expand their power, start unjustified wars, and correspondingly reduce individual liberty (and that’s putting it really simply and glossing over a lot of the last 10 years). Even if we’re to give them the benefit of the doubt… the drastic measures taken since 9/11 would likely still be political posturing, for they would not wish to be seen as weak or incompetent by doing nothing.

It brought me no comfort to learn of Usama Bin Laden’s demise earlier this year. The people lost that day cannot be brought back, and we’d been led down a path by terrorists that doesn’t change simply because he is dead. The freedom we have lost will not easily be won back. The distrust, the hate, the pain that has entered into people’s hearts will not easily be removed.

So this is what I see, 10 years later:

You cannot conquer hate with hate.
You cannot fight fear with fear.
Like begets like.
And ultimately, we cannot beat terrorism with terrorism or any of its violent relatives.

Resentment, enmity, hate, anger, bitterness… they are poison to the heart and no good comes from them. Vengeance may bring some fleeting level of gratification, but it does not bring peace.

So what can we do?

I can’t find words more fitting than the prayer of Saint Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

I am far from perfect or even being really good at living this way– but that’s the kind of person I believe in my heart I should strive to become. And the more people do, the better the world we live in will become.

There was a single reason why the passengers riding in *my* car stayed in Vegas overnight on the way to California. One of my passengers was Kato, and she insisted based on the fact that there are DUNKIN’ DONUTS IN VEGAS. And lets be honest. You really have to hit these donut places in the morning to have good selection. She apparently became a huge fan while living in Jersey. I have to say… I quite enjoyed them. Don’t know why we don’t have franchises in Utah.

I can’t even remember what this big dog was there for… but Steve pretty much needed his pic taken with it.

South Point Hotel (where we stayed) in Vegas