August 2006 Archives

So I posted that last post with the intention of following up with what my own reaction was to it, because my own reaction to it really was the most fascinating part of the dream.

So here you have this gruesome dream, should be pretty horrifying, huh? And to answer Jeff's question, it must have been one of those out-of-body experiences where your spirit is just hanging around a bit before moving on, because I was conscious of what happened and was thinking about the situation.

The first thing I felt was probably surprise, but not in a scared way. Just like "hey, my life just got cut short."

The next feeling was frustration. There was so much I wanted to do with my life but hadn't yet. My mortal life had such great potential and it had been cut short. Frustrating.

After that, I thought "huh. I guess Dad will get this chunk of money from my life insurance policy." Then I connected life insurance with my previous frustration and thought "dang, is that all my life is or was worth?" which of course the answer was no and that a) I should have had way more insurance and b) there's no amount of insurance on this earth that can cover the potential that we have as human beings.

These were all thoughts and responses which took place in my sleep. Interesting, eh? I don't usually respond so much to things in my dreams that I can recall. So I woke up not shaken or disturbed or anything, but pondering the worth of a soul, the worth of human (mortal) life even. I was beginning to understand just why murder is one of the greatest sins one can commit.

You simply can't place a number value on all the things a human can do, the lives they can touch, the ways they can lift others, be happy and help bring happiness to others.

I love metaphors. I started thinking of my dream in terms of metaphors, like considering the value of the head (mind) and all it can do, as well as the value of the hands (any resource) with which you can put ideas of the mind into motion. For so long I've taken such things for granted and used them only as much as I needed to— kinda sad, but kind of exciting looking forward.

Reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite movies, Joe vs the Volcano (much more substance than meets the eye in that movie):

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement."
--Patricia, Joe vs. the Volcano

I had a dream last night. Some might consider it a nightmare, it was a bit grisly. I dreamt that I was killed in an elevator. My head was severed and both of my hands were severed at the wrist. Yes thats right, severed. Completely off, no hands or head left, just some gory, bloody stumps.

How would you feel after a dream like this? What would you think?

It's about 4:30am, I wake from dreams to hear thunder and the dogs barking. Lightning flashes procede the thunder. It's kind of eary at this time of night/morning when all is dark, quiet and supposed to be sleeping. As I lay in bed, I get this urge to let out a blood-curdling scream...

Just to freak anyone who hears it out, hehehe... but even the thought of letting out such a scream freaks myself out. You see, your mind can play tricks on you in the wee hours. The lightning reminds me of the Twilight Zone movie and I expect that any moment a flash of lightning might briefly reveal some horrifying creature or event that is otherwise unseen in the darkness. The rational mind sleeps while the imagination runs wild, my consciousness somewhere between the dream world and reality.

But now the thunder and lightning are subsiding, it won't be terribly long before the light returns. Perhaps I should sleep more and see if dreams or nightmares come...

Just an update for the sake of updating, since I seem to have fallen into non-blogging ways (sorry Travis!) I also wanted to take a moment to welcome Josh to the world of Apple. He got a new MacBook today and has taken his first step into a better place, hehe... not to mention the free iPod Nano he got hooked up with for buying the MacBook. He's also moving to Provo in a few weeks (Provo Spain? Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures.), which I can't say is a step into a better world physically, but nonetheless it's just awesome that he's taking steps to further his education by going to grad school, so in that sense, yes, better. I'm looking forward to samgyupsal, superhud and Sam Hawk buddy!